INNER STRENGTH

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IS YOUR HAPPINESS EVEN POSSIBLE?

Happiness is not a place you arrive at—it’s the way you move through the world.
—Margaret Lee Run

If you’re honest, it can feel like happiness is out of style.

Turn on the news, scroll your phone, or skim a morning headline, and you’re immediately surrounded by everything that’s going wrong. Tragedy shouts louder than kindness. Conflict spreads faster than compassion. Even in arenas meant to celebrate success—sports, business, achievement—the spotlight often lands on scandal instead of triumph.

It’s no wonder happiness can start to feel distant… even unrealistic.

You might catch yourself thinking: How am I supposed to feel joyful in a world like this?

And yet, that question reveals something important.

Because despite everything, you still want happiness.

The Illusion of “Someday”

Many people live with a quiet belief: real life hasn’t started yet.

It’s just around the corner—after the next obstacle, the next responsibility, the next problem solved. There’s always something in the way. Something to finish. Something to fix.

Alfred Souza captured it perfectly: we spend years waiting for life to begin… only to realize those obstacles were our life all along.

And that realization changes everything.

Because if life isn’t waiting somewhere ahead—then happiness isn’t either.

A World That Has More… Yet Feels Less

We live in an age of incredible advancement. Technology has promised us convenience, freedom, and more time than ever before.

And yet many people feel more rushed, more anxious, and more overwhelmed than any generation before them.

We’ve gained speed—but lost stillness.
We’ve gained access—but lost connection.
We’ve gained more—but somehow feel less.

So again the question rises: Is happiness even realistic? Or is it just wishful thinking?

The Truth About Happiness

Happiness isn’t optional—it’s fundamental.

You were born wired to seek it. To move toward joy. To avoid pain. It’s part of your design.

But here’s the shift most people miss:

Happiness doesn’t appear when the world improves.
It appears when you decide to create it—despite the world.

Opportunities for happiness aren’t rare. They’re everywhere. Quiet. Subtle. Often overlooked.

The real challenge isn’t finding happiness—it’s recognizing it… and choosing it.

The Ripple Effect

Happiness was never meant to be hoarded.

It spreads.

When you bring light into someone else’s life, you don’t lose it—you multiply it. As James Barrie said, those who bring sunshine to others cannot keep it from themselves.

Imagine if happiness became intentional—not accidental.

If people chose it, shared it, prioritized it.

Not as a fleeting emotion, but as a way of living.

It would move outward—from you, to your home, to your community, and beyond—like a ripple that never stops expanding.

Is That Idealistic?

Maybe.

History shows us that even our best intentions fade. Movements rise, inspire, and eventually give way to old habits—self-interest, distraction, complacency.

So yes, we may stumble. We may drift. We may repeat old patterns.

But not forever.

Progress doesn’t require perfection—it requires persistence.

The Balance of Being Human

Here’s another truth we often resist:

Happiness cannot exist without its opposite.

Joy means something because we’ve known sorrow. Love matters because loss is possible.

A world without pain wouldn’t feel like paradise—it would feel empty.

You weren’t meant to live in constant euphoria. You were meant to experience the full range of life—the highs, the lows, and everything in between.

The goal isn’t to eliminate unhappiness.

It’s to balance it with deeper, richer joy.

The Courage to Seek It Anyway

Would you avoid love just to escape heartbreak?

Would you stop searching for truth because lies exist?

Would you give up on courage because fear is present?

Of course not.

So why abandon happiness simply because it’s sometimes buried beneath struggle?

Happiness isn’t handed to you—it’s discovered. Unearthed. Chosen.

Again and again.

Becoming Your Higher Self

Your real purpose isn’t to chase a perfect life.

It’s to become someone who can create peace within an imperfect one.

That’s what it means to grow into your Higher Self—not to eliminate stress, but to rise above it. Not to control the world, but to master your response to it.

When you reach that place, something shifts:

You stop being pulled into every storm…
Because you’ve become the calm at the center of it.

And from that calm, something powerful emerges—

A steady, grounded, resilient kind of happiness.

Not loud. Not fragile. But real.

And once it’s real…

It doesn’t just stay with you.

It flows through everything you do.

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HOW DO I STOP DRIFTING AND START ACTING?

“Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men’s blood… Make big plans; aim high in hope and work…”

— Daniel H. Burnham

There is something electric about those words—something that refuses to sit quietly in the background of your life. They challenge you, almost daring you, to stop thinking small and start living with intention. Because deep down, you already know that small plans don’t ignite anything. They don’t move you. They don’t transform you.

Self-empowerment begins at that very moment of realization. It is not just motivation—it is inspiration set in motion, deliberately aimed in a positive direction. It is the unmistakable surge of energy that rises from within when you feel aligned with something meaningful. In those moments, obstacles don’t disappear—but they lose their power. You stop seeing barriers and start seeing pathways.

When you are truly self-empowered, something extraordinary happens. Your focus sharpens. Your energy intensifies. Time itself seems to loosen its grip. You become immersed—fully engaged, almost weightless—as if you are being carried forward by an unseen current. There is no strain here, no forced effort. Instead, there is a natural rhythm, a quiet certainty. It is the rare state where self-awareness and action merge—where you are not just thinking about your life but actively living it with clarity and purpose.

If you’ve ever experienced this, even briefly, you recognize it immediately. It feels like flow. Like alignment. Like stepping into the version of yourself you were meant to become.

And yet, for most people, this state is fleeting.

Why?

Because it is far easier—far more common—to drift than to direct. Instead of moving with intention, we wait. We react. We allow pressure, deadlines, and external demands to dictate our actions. We don’t act because we are inspired—we act because we feel we must.

Days become checklists. Tasks get completed, but without meaning. You move from one obligation to the next, not with purpose, but with compliance. And at the end of it all, there is a quiet, unsettling realization: time has passed… but little else has truly happened.

This is not failure. It is something more subtle—and more dangerous.

It is the slow erosion of purpose.

Without self-empowerment, life begins to flatten. You drift into routines that require little thought and offer even less fulfillment. What matters most becomes blurred, then distant, then forgotten altogether. You may call it procrastination. You may call it laziness. But at its core, it is neither.

It is a lack of purpose strong enough to move you.

When purpose is absent, urgency is outsourced. Other people’s priorities become your priorities. External events dictate your decisions. You surrender authorship of your life—not intentionally, but gradually, almost imperceptibly. It becomes easier to react than to lead, easier to comply than to choose.

And so you exist in a kind of passive rhythm—managing responsibilities, fulfilling obligations, waiting for something to happen. Like a bridge tender watching boats pass, you lift and lower the gates of your day… but you are not directing the traffic.

This may sound severe, but it is not an accusation—it is a recognition. Many lives are full, busy, even productive… yet quietly lacking in meaning. Because meaning does not come from motion alone. It comes from intention.

If your actions are not aligned with what matters most to you, then you are not truly moving forward—you are simply moving.

You are sacrificing effect for lack of cause.

When you fail to act with purpose, you are not just unfocused—you are disconnected. When you wait for something to happen, you are revealing that nothing compelling is happening within you. When your time is filled with the routine and the mundane, it is not because opportunity is absent—it is because vision is.

Yes, you may go to work. You may manage your responsibilities. You may even carve out moments of rest and leisure. But without intention, these moments blur together into a life that feels managed rather than lived.

As Paul G. Thomas wisely noted, “Until input (thought) is linked to a goal (purpose), there can be no intelligent accomplishment.”

Purpose is the link.

It is the force that transforms thought into action, and action into meaningful progress.

To live with purpose is to live by design. It is to consciously choose your direction rather than inherit it from circumstance. It is to define your vision, commit to your mission, and align your daily actions with both.

This is where self-empowerment truly begins.

Because when you focus—when you deliberately center your life around what matters most—you reclaim control. You stop reacting and start creating. Your behavior becomes intentional. Your results become predictable. Your life becomes yours.

Your Higher Self depends on this alignment.

Know your purpose, and you will know who you are.
Clarify your vision, and you will know where you are going.
Commit to your mission, and you will ensure that you get there.

And once you begin to live this way—fully focused, fully engaged—you will discover something remarkable:

You were never meant to drift.

You were meant to direct.

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HOW CAN I STOP GETTING SO UPSET?

Why do I get so easily upset about everything?

It’s a question that feels personal, almost confessional—yet it touches something universal. At some point, we all notice how quickly our mood can shift, how a small inconvenience can spark a disproportionate reaction, or how a passing comment can linger far longer than it should. And when that happens, we often assume the world is the problem.

But what if it isn’t?

Centuries ago, René Descartes offered a deceptively simple insight: “I think, therefore I am.” With just five words, he placed thought at the very center of human existence. Much later, James Allen deepened that idea: “As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.” Together, they reveal something both empowering and unsettling—our inner world doesn’t just reflect our lives; it shapes them.

If that’s true, then an obvious question arises: if our thoughts hold such power, why don’t we simply choose better ones? Why don’t we “flip the switch” and decide to be calm, content, and happy?

The answer is both simple and difficult: we don’t fully believe it’s that simple.

We tend to distrust solutions that feel too easy. We assume happiness must be earned through struggle, or that peace requires circumstances to align perfectly. So instead of exercising control over our thoughts, we surrender to them—especially the negative ones. Doubt creeps in. Fear follows. And before long, we’re reacting to life rather than shaping it.

At the heart of this lies a powerful truth: our capacity for happiness is rooted in our expectations of it.

There’s an old saying: “The person who believes they can is probably right—and so is the person who believes they can’t.” This isn’t just clever wordplay; it’s a reflection of how perception defines reality. When we label a situation as “bad,” our minds go to work proving that judgment correct. We notice every flaw, every inconvenience, every frustration. The experience becomes exactly what we expected it to be.

But when we approach the same situation with a sense of control—even if that control exists only in how we respond—something shifts. The event may not change, but our experience of it does. Calm replaces chaos. Clarity replaces confusion.

In this sense, happiness and control are closely intertwined. Not control over the world—that’s often beyond us—but control over how we interpret and respond to it.

The philosopher John Stuart Mill understood this well when he wrote that meaningful improvement in human life requires a transformation in our modes of thought. In other words, lasting change doesn’t begin “out there”—it begins within.

An event, by itself, carries no emotional weight. It is neutral. It is our interpretation—our immediate, often unconscious reaction—that assigns meaning to it. That meaning then fuels our emotions: anger, anxiety, resentment, or, alternatively, acceptance, resilience, and even peace.

This doesn’t mean we can control everything that happens to us. We can’t. Life will always present moments of uncertainty, disappointment, and challenge. But we can control the lens through which we view those moments—and that makes all the difference.

Stress, at its core, is not just about what happens to us. It’s about our resistance to what happens. It arises when we refuse to adapt, when we cling to how things should be rather than accepting how they are. The tension we feel is often the gap between expectation and reality.

And here’s the paradox: the very thing we resist—adjusting our perspective—is the key to overcoming the problem.

We don’t lack the ability to manage our reactions. What we often lack is the trust that we can.

Yet the evidence is there, quietly present in every moment we choose patience over anger, understanding over judgment, or calm over chaos. Each time we do, we prove to ourselves that our thoughts are not fixed—they are tools. And like any tool, they can be used skillfully or carelessly.

So the next time you find yourself getting upset “too easily,” pause and ask a different question—not “What’s wrong with the world?” but “What am I telling myself about this moment?”

Because in that answer lies your power.

And perhaps, your peace.

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HOW CAN I AVOID DIFFICULTIES?

When was the last time you felt truly in command of your life—like the world was moving with you instead of against you? A day when obstacles didn’t intimidate you, but simply lined up, waiting to be handled. A day when your actions felt deliberate, your direction clear, and your purpose undeniable.

Chances are, that kind of day feels distant—or maybe even imaginary.

If we’re honest, most of us aren’t living in that space of clarity and control. Instead, life often feels like a constant balancing act—juggling responsibilities, reacting to surprises, and trying to stay afloat amid a flood of demands. Some days go smoothly, sure. But many leave us scrambling, wondering why so much feels out of our hands.

And yet, this isn’t a flaw in how we’re living—it’s the nature of life itself.

Life doesn’t pause. It doesn’t ask permission. It doesn’t wait until we’re ready.

One moment, you forget your umbrella and get caught in the rain. The next, something bigger hits: a job loss, a diagnosis, a relationship unraveling. But just as unpredictably, life can lift you up—a promotion, a new child, an unexpected windfall. Good or bad, life arrives unannounced, often overwhelming, and always demanding a response.

Some of what happens to us is beyond our control. Some of it, if we’re honest, we create ourselves. But all of it requires us to respond.

And that’s where things begin to unravel.

When we resist what happens, we create turmoil. When we’re unprepared, we feel confusion. When events don’t fit into our beliefs or values, we lose our sense of balance. Deep down, we crave a different reality—one without uncertainty, without pain, without difficult choices. We want guarantees: stability, security, happiness.

But that’s the dream—not the deal.

The tension we feel—the thing we call stress—comes from this gap between what is and what we wish would be. At its core, stress is simply the demand to adapt. And when we don’t adapt, we amplify the chaos. One unresolved challenge leads to another and before long we’re caught in a cycle that feels impossible to escape.

What makes this even harder is that life today is more complex than ever. Imagine our ancestors facing danger: a predator appears, and the choice is immediate—fight or run. Simple. Urgent. Clear.

Now compare that to modern life.

Today, our decisions rarely come with such clarity. Instead of two options, we face dozens—each layered with consequences. Leave a toxic relationship? Stay and try to fix it? What about the children, finances, reputation, promises made? Face an illness? Now you’re weighing treatments, insurance, career impact, family responsibilities.

There is no simple “fight or flight” anymore. There’s only navigation through uncertainty.

And yet, there is a way to regain a sense of control—not by eliminating life’s chaos, but by changing how we meet it.

Every life is filled with stress, from the trivial to the life-altering. But when you know who you are—when your values are clear and your purpose is defined—those stressors begin to lose their power. They don’t disappear, but they become manageable. Understandable. Even meaningful.

Clarity is the anchor.

When you have a strong sense of self, a grounded belief system, and a clear direction, life’s challenges stop feeling like random attacks. Instead, they become situations to navigate—problems to solve with intention.

Control doesn’t come from controlling everything. It comes from taking responsibility for how you respond.

And that’s the shift.

When you commit to purposeful action—when you choose to respond instead of react you begin to reclaim your power. Over time, with practice and persistence, something remarkable happens: the chaos doesn’t disappear, but you stop being ruled by it.

You become steady in the storm.

And maybe that “perfect day” you’ve been searching for isn’t a day without problems—but a day where, no matter what happens, you know you can handle it.

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ARE YOU STUCK IN A RUT?

Do you ever feel uninspired… like you’re stuck in the same routine, watching life move forward while you stand still?

If that feeling sounds familiar, it usually comes down to one of two things:
1. You don’t really know what you want.
2. You know what you want—but it’s not important enough for you to act on.

Let’s start with the first one.

Know What Truly Matters to You

You must know what you want out of life. If you honestly have no idea, it may mean you haven’t taken the time to think about what you truly value.

But most of us do value something—our relationships, our purpose, our achievements, our growth. These values represent our deepest hopes, aspirations, and expectations for our lives. Take some quiet time to reflect and write them down. If thinking about them stirs strong emotions, you’re probably uncovering something meaningful.

Decide If It Matters Enough to Act

Knowing what you want isn’t enough. You must decide if it’s important enough to take action.

What you value most will never magically appear. Life doesn’t owe us anything. If we want something meaningful, we must claim ownership of our lives and pursue it. 

In the end, the quality of your life reflects the effort you invest in it.

The choice is simple: live fully—or let life drift by.

So Why Do We Get Stuck?

Even when we know what matters, it’s surprisingly easy to get sidetracked. Here are some common reasons people stay stuck—and what to reflect on if they sound familiar.

You Don’t Have a Plan
Once you know where you want to go, you need a roadmap. Living in the present is powerful—but first you must decide what kind of future you’re building. Create a clear path and commit to following it.

You Keep Waiting for “Tomorrow”
Procrastination quietly drains motivation. If you keep telling yourself you’ll start when the timing is perfect, you may never begin. The truth is simple: the right time is almost always now.

You’re Too Comfortable
Growth requires change and change often feels uncomfortable. Leaving your comfort zone may feel like a loss at first—but it’s usually the doorway to progress, confidence, and renewal.

You Don’t Believe in Yourself
Self-doubt is powerful sabotage. If you don’t believe you’re capable or deserving of shaping your life, you’ll hold yourself back before you even start. The words you repeat to yourself become the reality you live. Choose them wisely.

You’re Surrounded by the Wrong Influences
The people around you shape your thinking more than you realize. If you’re surrounded by negativity or low expectations, it can quietly limit your own ambitions. Seek out people who inspire you—role models, mentors, and friends who challenge you to grow.

You Confuse “Busy” with Productive
Working nonstop doesn’t always mean you’re moving forward. It’s easy to stay busy responding to daily demands while neglecting what truly matters. Ask yourself: Am I making progress, or just staying occupied?

You’re Not Taking Care of Yourself
Endless screen time, poor sleep, lack of exercise, and unhealthy habits can slowly drain your energy and potential. When you neglect your well-being, you’re also neglecting your ability to grow and achieve more.

You’ve Lost Your Passion
Passion fuels purpose. Somewhere inside you is something that excites you—something that sparks curiosity, joy, or meaning. It may be buried under years of routine, but it’s still there. When you rediscover it, you’ll find a renewed sense of direction.

Start Fresh Today

You don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to resent the direction your life has taken.

A new beginning can start today.

It begins with a decision: to think differently, to act intentionally, and to believe that change is possible. The biggest barrier isn’t circumstance—it’s mindset.

Change your thinking, and you’ll begin changing your life.

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ATTAINING INNER PEACE

Hugging the CoastOur objective should not be to eliminate all unhappiness but rather to balance it with increased opportunity for joy. Buddha may have reminded us, A hundred loves, a hundred losses. No loves, no losses, but are we prepared to abandon the potential for love because we fear the potential for loss?

Would there be any value in giving up our rights to search for a single sliver of happiness because we must first dig through a mountain of sadness to locate it? For that matter, would we not search for truth because it is hidden among deceit? Or would we not seek honor because we feel that it is surrounded by contempt? Or not seek courage because it is covered with cowardice? Or not seek morality because it is shrouded within an immoral society?

Happiness is ours to discover despite the deterrents that stand in our way; it is our human right to be elated despite a world that flagrantly flaunts its despairing side. Our purpose, therefore, is to strive toward a sense of internal peace within ourselves.

This does not mean that we will live in perfect contentment but rather we will be contented with ourselves. The difference is that the former implies an unrealistic, stress free state of consciousness while the latter implies that we are in conscious control of our state of gratification.

We will feel it is possible to rise above the vagaries of unhappiness that may surround us. We will resist the feeling of being dragged into a maelstrom of discontentment because we will see ourselves as the calm center of the storm. And our joy will abound through our sense of calm purpose being recognized and lived through our daily actions.  Inner peace then becomes our right and our choice.

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FIND YOUR SUCCESS PARTNER

Most of us can recall those times when we succeeded due to the impact of a mentor, a guidance counselor or perhaps an understanding spouse who was by our side as we undertook some personal endeavor. But we can also recall those instances where we endeavored to go forth alone and then gave up because we lacked the direction and support we needed. We found ourselves stuck in a place we didn’t belong but also didn’t have the encouragement or advice to get ourselves unstuck.

Imagine having a supportive partner in those situations where we lacked the resources, both mental and emotional, to stay on the right path.  Recent research has shown that simply stating goals are largely ineffective, writing them down had only slightly better results, but having a partner proved by far the highest success rate in goal achievement.

Examples of this working partnership could include: job hunting or changing careers, learning a new skill, writing a novel, becoming a better speaker or listener, starting a business or planning retirement, getting out of debt, dealing with a difficult workplace issue, breaking a bad habit or making a significant lifestyle change.

The list is endless of possible scenarios where having a trusted partner on your side would have made all the difference. Going it alone is certainly an option, but consider how well that has worked for you in the past. If you truly want to stay the course this time and ensure your success it is okay to admit that you could use some serious help.  Find your trusted partner who will support you and you will have much greater success in making it happen.

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THE POWER OF PERSEVERANCE

Perserverance jpg

To achieve what we most desire requires us to make giant leaps of faith in ourselves. This requires confidence in our beliefs and the courage to take the first step.  Having resolute courage combined with deep enthusiasm and supreme self-confidence will make us virtually unstoppable.

Our obstacles will become illusions if we then choose to never give up.  And if we happen to fail along the way, we should treat it as our sustenance for continual and recommitted effort. If we then remain determined to go boldly and steadfastly no challenge will be able to withstand this onslaught.

Having a clear Purpose is the catalyst for the courage, perseverance and self-confidence we need and it will give us the inner conviction to stay the course. Maintaining a clear Vision of where we want to go in life will give us the strength to never give up when the going gets difficult.

This is the only blueprint for making everything we want in life a reality. It is our choice as to whether or not we will have the courage and the perseverance to realize it.

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BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Purpose Image 1We need to trust and believe in ourselves. As our actions are dictated by our thoughts, we must diligently and relentlessly pursue a positive, can-do attitude. If we find ourselves accepting anything less, we are holding nobody back but ourselves. To sustain positive self-beliefs, we should only use affirmative, action statements in describing ourselves: I AM ENERGETIC! I AM POWERFUL! I AM A GENIUS! I AM SUCCESSFUL! I AM UNSTOPPABLE!  We should never let negative verbiage enter our self-vocabulary when we can just as easily use more assertive words to define who we are. It is a waste of time for us to not believe in ourselves. If we are not going for more in life, then we will always be going for less. For us to get what we want from life, we must first want it; then we must go for it. In fact, we should never say that we want something and not go for it.

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MANAGING A WORRY

When we choose not to take action against events that create stress in our life, we will have adopted a self-belief of powerlessness. This inaction on our part leads to anxiety, a mental state of worrying about an event, even to the point that we no longer know what we are worrying about. This worrying or feeling anxious literally shuts down our sense of control and responsibility over the perceived event. When this occurs, we really have only one solution: We must turn the worry into a problem! Once we have reframed the worry into a problem, then we have something tangible to deal with.

By re-identifying our worry as a rational and specific problem, we can literally launch an attack against it. This modifies our original self-belief of powerlessness to one of control and responsibility. Thus, we will fix the source of our worry through developing a proactive plan of action. We will feel in control again, most likely eliminating or diminishing the worry  to manageable proportions. At the very least, we will have turned our negative psychic energy into a purposeful attitude of control, which, in turn, bolsters our commitment and inner strength to overcome the problem.

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LISTEN ONLY TO YOURSELF

Realizing our true potential involves self-knowledge, self-acceptance and self-guidance. As we gain greater awareness of ourselves and take positive, purposeful action we begin to validate our potential. This validation of our potential creates a success-reality for us that in turn will carry us toward higher achievements. The key is to convince our Selves of this possibility. Our failure to do this is usually because we are not convinced enough. We simply don’t believe that we can do it! Essentially, we fail to produce positive results due to the self-sabotage taking place in our sub-conscious minds. There are powerful mind-triggers that hold us back just as their equally powerful mind-triggers that tell us to go for it! We listen to our negative sub-consciousness because of imbedded commands that have been programmed into us, i.e. little voices that we have heard for many years from parents, teachers, spouses, bosses and even our best friends. We don’t receive nearly as much positive reinforcement from others as we get reasons why it can’t be done: We are told that we need more experience! We have never done it before! We don’t have enough education! We can’t afford it! We have to take care of this or that problem first! We should be content with who we are! We need to take care of other responsibilities! For some bizarre reason, people just don’t like to encourage us to succeed. But the far greater problem is that we tend to listen to them. And believe them!  If we listen only to our Self  we will eventually begin to believe what we are hearing.

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SELF-ACTUALIZATION

If we take life’s events at face value, assume that they are our destiny and agonize over their presence, then we will have succumbed to a future that we no longer control. If, however, we adopt the attitude that life’s events are merely occurrences, that they deserve no more importance than what we ascribe to them, then we can become the master and life becomes our servant. Thus, self-realization is not just the identification of our most inner needs and expectations but rather their reflection in the way we feel about ourselves and in how we choose to approach life. Essentially, our Self becomes actualized through our thoughts, our self-beliefs and our actions, all of which are based upon a passionate Purpose-driven attitude.

We must recognize that we are not simply a Self, some amorphous thing that sits on a shelf in a dark corner of the room, complete in its own essence. Our Self is a living, breathing, learning, acting, doing, thinking human being. Our Self moves through life, facing continuous stimulation that requires continuous responses. It survives and prospers by coming out of the dark, out of its basic shell, and then charging into the brightness of each day, participating with great Purpose and Vision. The choice we must make is whether to let our Self turn into a Shawish-type tired, selfish clod with grievances that the world is not making us happy, or a Self  that passionately realizes what it is, what it wants and what it is going to do. Taking the higher road ultimately leads us to our Higher Self, where we never have to regret the choices that we made – because they were the choices we meant to make.

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THE WINNING ATTITUDE

Discovering our true Self comes not only from answering the hard questions about who we think we are, but rather by molding the self-image of who we want to be. Self-imagining is a powerful tool for determining our feelings about success and what we want our lives to actually look and feel like. It is well documented that if we hold ourselves in low esteem, this self-concept will generally lead to a series of life-long failures, whereas an attitude of supreme self-confidence and self-worth will generally lead to greater life success and happiness. Whether we choose to feel inferior or superior is a matter of personal choice.

This is not to imply that we can just flip a few switches and then radiate supreme confidence, but we can with practiced effort over time develop a mental picture of ourselves as achieving, purposeful individuals. As we carry a higher sense of self-confidence around with us and act as if we are unstoppable, we will find that our string of small victories will build upon themselves, creating even more momentum for success. When Dwight Eisenhower was asked how he would feel if his invasion forces had been turned back in Normandy, he said, I don’t know. I never let that thought enter my mind. We, as well, can develop mental pictures of ourselves as always winning, gaining, enjoying, succeeding, and those powerful suggestions will more often than not produce those exact results.

Conversely, we can take a self-defeated attitude. That self-suggestion will lead to failure, in itself, as that is exactly what we will have imagined for ourselves. Again, the choice is ours: We can either feel that we have a strong Purpose and a passionate life force within us, or we can feel that we are merely victims and our lives serve little meaning or Purpose. Either set of feelings will determine the results we are seeking.

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OVERCOMING LIFE’S UNFAIRNESS

Who said life has to be fair, kind and nice to us? Life can be difficult, and the sooner we recognize and accept this fact, the easier our life will become. In fact, just acknowledging this statement somehow makes life’s burdens easier for us to bear. As humans we crave perfection of ourselves, of others and of the world in which we live. We wish not to see death, famine or disease. We even wish that we would never run out of gas, get fat or have our children talk back to us. But this is not the way life works. The entire universe is very much out of our control. Living with these constant imperfections frustrates us. However, once we accept the premise that life is difficult, that life’s events are not always going to be in our control, then we can relax, learn to accept instead of resist and get on with the creative, intelligent management of our lives. To overcome the burden of having to constantly deal with the unfairness of life, we must first, accept this unfairness and second, rationalize how we are going to deal with it. We cannot let life’s unfairness defeat us. Rather, we need to conquer these unfair situations by designing our own set of responses to them. Life’s events may largely be out of our control, but we do have control over ourselves.

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TAKING CONTROL

How can we do it all? The burden of modern civilization is that we are bombarded with choices, over laden with expectations, confounded by change and stymied by time. Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock has arrived and given us Imminent Shock. We are now faced with a world that is coming at us with blinding speed. We will often find it difficult to keep the balance within ourselves when our external world seems so chaotic and perpetually out-of-balance. But therein rests the secret: Keeping the balance within ourselves while everything around us appears to be out of control.

By focusing within, we gain clarity of Purpose. As turbulent as the outside world appears on the surface, we have the capacity to internally remain calm and balanced. Our Purpose, assisted by our Values, become our gyroscope and steadies us even as our landscape is continually moving.  By remaining attentive to what is most important to us, we can sort through the clutter in our lives and focus only upon that which really matters.

Many things will compete for our attention, but only the key priorities that are congruent with our Purpose and our Values need to be our concern, i.e. only those things that are important need to be managed and controlled. By recognizing this, we can set our own pace. And we can then control ourselves rather than allowing our external world to be in control of us.

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DESIDERATA

Expressions-12

The following quote from Max Ehrmann is probably the best self-help piece ever written. If we all lived our lives with the following words in mind, we would have no need for any other advice:

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Nor be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann