Category Archives: OUR QUEST FOR TIME

MASTERING THE DIFFICULT, OUR QUEST FOR TIME, RENEWAL AND TRANSFORMATION, THE GREAT BALANCING ACT

MASTERING GOALS: TOP TIPS

Following is a short list of common hints of wisdom for goal (target) achievement:

  •  Write down your goals (along with your Purpose Statement) and carry them with you.
  • Be precise in setting your goals; know exactly what you want and how you will get  there.
  •  Don’t allow the difficulty of the task to prevent you from beginning; just get started, see where you are and keep your perspectives clear.
  •  Break up your long-term goals into shorter ones; this will keep you motivated as you  progress.
  •  Keep your eye on the bull’s eye of your target, not the wall behind it.
  •  Learn to delegate; elicit the help of others to assist you along the way.
  •  Set your priorities; there is a logical sequence to getting anything accomplished.
  •  Keep attentive and focused; don’t let distractions send you into new directions.
  •  Practice mentally rehearsing what it will feel like when you have accomplished your tasks.
  •  When encountering difficult obstacles, back off and consider other avenues to your destination.
  •  Analyze the feedback of your interim progress toward a goal; Learn from your achievements.
  •  Keep an inventory of your skills, talents and resources; Upgrade them continuously.
  •  Congratulate and reward yourself for incremental successes along the way.
  •  Become a master list maker; Keep organized and enjoy checking off things you have done.
  •  Understand the mechanics of planning and the proper execution of your plans.
  • Combine tasks whenever possible; Try to kill two birds with one stone to economize your efforts.
  •  Recognize your biorhythms for efficiency; know your best time of the day to be productive.
  •  Work smart, not hard; don’t think of quantity of effort, think of quality of effort.
  •  Never procrastinate without a valid and unavoidable reason.
  •  Secure a mentor, partner or coach to support your progress and to be accountable to.
  •  Keep a sense of humor; Laugh at yourself when you stumble and quickly get on your feet again.
  •  Remember that your Purpose is behind everything that you do.
A VALUED LIFE, INSPIRATIONS, LIFE'S SECOND ACT, OUR QUEST FOR TIME, PATHS TO HAPPINESS, RATIONAL THINKING, RENEWAL AND TRANSFORMATION

HAVING NO REGRETS

I think most of us can recall FDR’s famous quote “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” But his less well known quote is “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”

This resonates with me because coaching new retirees always involves hearing about their “doubts of today.” And sadly, these fears and uncertainties will often lead to their “regrets of tomorrow.” If, however,  they could overcome their present doubts they would likely find their future lives to be much more fulfilled.

Most of us would agree that at the end of our life we’d like to go back and re-do a few things that could have been changed – maybe spend less time at the office to make more time for ourselves and our families, taken our studies more seriously, made better career choices, etc.

And while these are important considerations, these are not the main reflections of those at the end of their lives. According to palliative expert Bonnie Ware, the top five regrets of the dying are:

1. I wish I’d lived a life true to myself,  not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

And I’d like to add that Nadine Stair on her 84th birthday said, “I wish I had waded in more mud puddles”.

Living with no regrets places the responsibility upon us, not just to decide what we want out of life but to then go and live it. Since we have a finite timetable for life, why not decide today what risks we are willing to take and then begin the process of taking them. Why not reframe our current fears and self-doubts into a more positive and optimistic outlook for the future.

So will we answer this question for ourselves, or will we let others answer it for us? Will we act out of fear or out of courage? If we decide to go for it, what will It be? What do we want the rest of our life to look and feel like?

Now would be a good time to answer these questions.  The choice is ours . . . to be able to look back one day at our life without any regrets at all!

A VALUED LIFE, LIFE'S SECOND ACT, OUR QUEST FOR TIME, OUR UNIQUE PURPOSE, RENEWAL AND TRANSFORMATION

THE NEW RETIREMENT

CertifiedRetirementCoach_Logo72DPI - GIFAccording to Dr. Richard Johnson, the leading authority on retirement options, “the “new retirement” is not an ending, it’s a new beginning, the start of a new life of vastly expanded proportions.”

Unfortunately, a large number of the 10,000 baby boomers turning 65 each day still view retirement as the end of their personal growth.  They may then find their remaining years drifting into boredom, low self-esteem, limited social interactions, and a feeling of lost purpose.

However, there is an equally large number of baby boomers who sense this is the best time to live their dream, to make new self-directed choices to grow, prosper and make significant contributions to society.  In essence, they will choose to finally live their purpose.

Which group you will fall in depends on your attitude, your pre-retirement preparations and your perceptions of future opportunities. Your retirement success is within your own control but it will take some deep introspections and self-awareness training.

A certified retirement coach can provide you the detailed assessment of the factors that will shape your retirement satisfaction.  This coach will help you discover your options for life fulfillment in your encore years.  Since your “second adult life” could last 30-40 years, working with a certified retirement coach today would be time well spent.

Contact me today to learn more . . .

 

A VALUED LIFE, INSPIRATIONS, OUR QUEST FOR TIME, PATHS TO HAPPINESS, RATIONAL THINKING, THE GREAT BALANCING ACT, THE SIMPLER LIFE

KEEP IT SIMPLE

No Cares jpgFor some baffling reason, we have gotten caught up in an insatiable need for more stuff – from clothes, cars, houses, electronic gadgets, toys, furniture and fixtures to new hairdos, pedicures and tummy tucks. We want to possess everything imaginable and never seem to be content anymore with the basics. According to comedian George Carlin, we even need to own stuff to put our stuff into. We like to take our stuff with us wherever we go, and when we get there we have to buy more stuff so we can take it home to be with other stuff!

Our fascination with stuff, however, is not the problem. It is the lifestyle that we must pursue to acquire, maintain and manage our stuff.  All of this stuff is the antithesis to a sane, balanced and purposeful life. While we tend to believe that our happiness emanates from our possessions it is, in fact, these same possessions that become the bane and curse to a joyful and meaningful life. According to Elaine St. James, Wise men and women in every major culture throughout history have found that the secret to happiness is not in getting more but in wanting less. Only when we make it our purpose to not make stuff the measure of our contentment, will we truly understand how simply beautiful (and beautifully simple) life can be lived.

INNER STRENGTH, MASTERING THE DIFFICULT, OUR QUEST FOR TIME, RENEWAL AND TRANSFORMATION, THE GREAT BALANCING ACT

FIND YOUR SUCCESS PARTNER

Most of us can recall those times when we succeeded due to the impact of a mentor, a guidance counselor or perhaps an understanding spouse who was by our side as we undertook some personal endeavor. But we can also recall those instances where we endeavored to go forth alone and then gave up because we lacked the direction and support we needed. We found ourselves stuck in a place we didn’t belong but also didn’t have the encouragement or advice to get ourselves unstuck.

Imagine having a supportive partner in those situations where we lacked the resources, both mental and emotional, to stay on the right path.  Recent research has shown that simply stating goals are largely ineffective, writing them down had only slightly better results, but having a partner proved by far the highest success rate in goal achievement.

Examples of this working partnership could include: job hunting or changing careers, learning a new skill, writing a novel, becoming a better speaker or listener, starting a business or planning retirement, getting out of debt, dealing with a difficult workplace issue, breaking a bad habit or making a significant lifestyle change.

The list is endless of possible scenarios where having a trusted partner on your side would have made all the difference. Going it alone is certainly an option, but consider how well that has worked for you in the past. If you truly want to stay the course this time and ensure your success it is okay to admit that you could use some serious help.  Find your trusted partner who will support you and you will have much greater success in making it happen.

A VALUED LIFE, OUR QUEST FOR TIME, PATHS TO HAPPINESS

LIVE IN THE NOW

Purpose Image 4Future time is really no more valuable to our happiness and success than is our Past time, since Future time exists only in our minds, hopes and dreams. Like Past time, Future time is not even occurring in our lives; these times are either coming or they’ve already went, but they’re not happening right now which is where our lives are – Right Now! Kay Lyons said it best, Yesterday is a canceled check; Tomorrow is only a promissory note; today is the only cash you have – so spend it wisely.  This means that there is only one time that is relevant to our happiness and fulfillment of a meaningful life – The Present!

MASTERING THE DIFFICULT, OUR QUEST FOR TIME, RATIONAL THINKING, THE GREAT BALANCING ACT

BALANCING IT ALL

Our problem is in how we see the problem. We tend to compartmentalize ourselves into separate lives. We have our work life, our family life, our financial life, our social life, etc. We try to take one hat off and put another hat on as the day progresses. This segmentation of our lives into different boxes of activity creates tremendous pressure on us to shift our roles continuously. We become much like that old Ed Sullivan act where the harried performer is balancing multiple plates on long poles. As each begins to fall, he has to run frantically back and forth to keep all of them spinning at the same time.

Doing too many separate things at once keeps us in constant agitation and turmoil.  We do a poor job in each role because we are trying to do all the roles at the same time, with each role requiring a different and often conflicting allotment of ourselves and of our time. The solution is to perceive the entire landscape, as a single body of choice, not little bites of activity all occurring at the same time. We need to act as if all of our roles are one and the same, that we are only spinning one large plate at the top of one pole. Gandhi once observed, One man cannot do right in one department of life whilst he is occupied in doing wrong in any other department. Life is one indivisible whole.

This is the essence of balanced Purpose. Instead of thinking either/or, we must think of one and the same. As we view and interact with multiple and competing events, we should not treat them as being distinct and separate parts, but rather as a single part woven into the whole of our lives. An ancient Sufi teacher once said, You think because you understand one you must understand two, because one and one makes two. But you must also understand and. This holistic concept means we cannot see the individual parts of a picture without first seeing the whole picture.

A VALUED LIFE, INNER STRENGTH, MASTERING THE DIFFICULT, OUR QUEST FOR TIME, RATIONAL THINKING, THE GREAT BALANCING ACT

TAKING CONTROL

How can we do it all? The burden of modern civilization is that we are bombarded with choices, over laden with expectations, confounded by change and stymied by time. Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock has arrived and given us Imminent Shock. We are now faced with a world that is coming at us with blinding speed. We will often find it difficult to keep the balance within ourselves when our external world seems so chaotic and perpetually out-of-balance. But therein rests the secret: Keeping the balance within ourselves while everything around us appears to be out of control.

By focusing within, we gain clarity of Purpose. As turbulent as the outside world appears on the surface, we have the capacity to internally remain calm and balanced. Our Purpose, assisted by our Values, become our gyroscope and steadies us even as our landscape is continually moving.  By remaining attentive to what is most important to us, we can sort through the clutter in our lives and focus only upon that which really matters.

Many things will compete for our attention, but only the key priorities that are congruent with our Purpose and our Values need to be our concern, i.e. only those things that are important need to be managed and controlled. By recognizing this, we can set our own pace. And we can then control ourselves rather than allowing our external world to be in control of us.

OUR QUEST FOR TIME

THE COMMODITY OF TIME

The quest for time should be equal to our quest for life. In reality they are one and the same, with each deserving the same reverence and respect. Our time should be viewed for what it really is, a finite resource. We cannot create more of it; we cannot live it over; and we cannot save it for another day. It happens and then it is gone. It is the ultimate equalizer for all of mankind, with kings and paupers being allotted an equal amount, to either use wisely or to waste.

Our difficulty with time mastery is due to its internal paradoxes. We live as if there are infinite tomorrows, then mourn the fact there is never enough time to do all the things we need to do today. We set aside time for ourselves; then squander it relentlessly. We plead for more of it; then procrastinate until there is no time left. Time seems to race when we are enjoying ourselves and then tediously plods along when we must do something we dislike. As children, we sense it moving slowly, then as adults complain at how quickly it passes with each new birthday.

The quest for time in our lives remains one of our greatest challenges. We never seem to know how to get a grip on this thing called time, even though it has been around since day one. With generations of experience behind us, we should be time management experts by now. We have learned how to relate to it by measuring it with clocks and calendars. We read time management books, go to seminars and buy time organizers to plot out our daily priorities. We know about time from seasons, from bodily functions and from scientific inquiry. We know from physics that time curves through space and we know how fast light travels in one calendar year. We even have clichés and rules to guide our use of time, such as a stitch in time saves nine, time stands still for no man, time is of the essence and there is no time like the present.

Yet with all of our insights and with all of our rules, we are still dissatisfied about our use of time. Our inability to manage time in our lives is not through our lack of knowledge nor in the manner of how it affects our lives. Our poor time utilization is simply due to our inability to equate our needs with our time requirements. Our failure in time management often stems from our doing too much, from taking too little or too much time to do it, and even from doing things at the wrong time. But most importantly, we are not doing the things that matter the most to us. Essentially, our time clock is not synchronized with our Purpose, our Values and our Mission.  Once it is, we will find that we have plenty of time.

A VALUED LIFE, OUR QUEST FOR TIME, PATHS TO HAPPINESS, RATIONAL THINKING, THE SIMPLER LIFE

TOO MUCH STUFF

Chill OutOur fascination with stuff is not the problem. It is the lifestyle that we must pursue to acquire, maintain and manage our stuff.  All of this stuff is the antithesis to a sane, balanced and purposeful life. While we tend to believe that our happiness emanates from our possessions it is, in fact, these same possessions that become the bane and curse to a joyful and meaningful life.

According to Elaine St. James, Wise men and women in every major culture throughout history have found that the secret to happiness is not in getting more but in wanting less.

Only when we make it our Purpose to not make stuff the measure of our contentment, will we truly understand how simply beautiful (and beautifully simple) life can be lived.

Thinking and living simply is not a character flaw, a weakness of drive and ambition; rather, it is vigorous, inspiring, courageous and reflective of our conviction of Purpose. Life and happiness is not made from stuff; it is a state of mind, made from the interwoven fabric of purposeful attitudes and the belief that life, in itself and by itself, is sufficient and plentiful. Our most meaningful rewards in life will always be the simplest ones.